My Experience with ASD

One of the few disabilities that I have actual experience with is Autism Spectrum Disorder.

We had a boy in my grade at school - J - who was on the spectrum.

Looking back on my experiences with J, I find myself vaguely ashamed of my actions back then. I was never outwardly cruel or anything, but I definitely avoided speaking to him and tried to end conversations quickly when we did talk even though he was always a really nice guy? I think a lot of that comes from the fact that J's behavior was off-putting, but especially to someone who didn't know anything about autism. To me he was overly friendly and forward, which I wasn't very tolerant of as an awkward and anxious person who clung to social norms which allowed me to live in a slightly less anxious space as long as I followed them. But because I didn't know that this was something that was part of his disorder - something that he didn't do on purpose but because he had trouble understanding social norms that hadn't been explained to him or because he struggled to understand that what he was doing wasn't what the social norms were - I was always just really uncomfortable with it.

Now, I can't really say that I wouldn't have been just as uncomfortable if I had known about his disorder? But I'd like to think that I'd have been a bit more patient with him and a bit less creeped out by his actions. Although, it's very possible that my anxiety would have made me just as uncomfortable as I was back then, because I wouldn't have known how to respond to him or if it was appropriate to correct a social faux pas or if I would have been uncomfortable but felt as though I wouldn't be able to leave the situation?

I just don't know.

What I do know though, is that I do wish I had known a little bit more about Autism when I was a child. Because J and I actually have a lot of similar interests that I didn't have many people to talk about back in high school, and it might have been nice to feel comfortable enough to talk to him about those things that we both love so much.